Yes, friends. This blog entry will focus mainly on my head. I realize that, on a baseball blog, the head of he who writes upon said blog should rarely be the focus, especially on a morning in which we, as a Bluejays fanbase, should be regaling in a much more interesting topic, such as a 5-4 win in extra innings, or two taters from the bearded wonder, Jose Bautista, or even, for those of you who have been mad lately, a blown save from the bullpen.
No, my friends. I refuse to talk about that. We'll be talking about my head today, because last night was my brother-in-law's stag party. I consumed right around 25 bottles of beer and a half dozen shots over the course of the day, which began with a fishing trip at about 6 in the morning. Basically, I've got a terrible headache and feel like a box full of smashed assholes. The last time I felt like this, I ended up being entirely numb and having the spins, but I was watching Superbad so it was ok until I puked, so that's probably happening today.
Things I saw yesterday:
A guy pulled his pants down and stuck a tee in his bum, allowing another man to place a golf ball on it and hit a drive. The tee was then placed directly in the mouth of the bumholder.
A guy took a previously caught fish, put a hook in it's mouth, tied the hook to a fishing line, tied the other end of the fishing line to his penis while nobody was looking, and then said "got one!", which made us all turn around and see this.
My pants got nice and dirty, but I don't know how.
A cake was shaped like 2 boobs.
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