Tuesday, 28 February 2012

2012 Previews: Houston Astros


Ah yes, the good ole days.

Majors
I can't pronounce the names of half of the players on this team.

Minors
They're just filling their MLB club with a bunch of strangers, meanwhile moving their workhorse/2nd best starting pitcher to the fucking closer position.  If they're going to do that, in the worst division in baseball, then they had fucking well better be stacking up their minor league system with super prospects.  What's that?  They didn't stack up prospects in the farm system?  Oh.

Remember last year when they traded away Michael Bourn and Hunter Pence for disappointing hauls?  Yeah, it's a good job they did, because that's about all they have in that system.  Fortunately, they've got the first overall pick this year, and are so fucking bad that they'll probably get it again next year.  They've also got new ownership (who will hopefully opt to get rid of that stupid fucking hill in CF), a new GM, and a whole bunch of new scouts and statisticians and stuff in their front office.  Hopefully for them, this will translate in to better drafting, better development, and maybe some cash in to the system to help out.

The Verdict
This team might be the worst team we've seen since the Tigers of like 2003 or whichever year they lost 119 games.  They're going to try as hard as they can to trade away both Wandy Rodriguez and Brett Myers, but they shouldn't get much of a return on either.  Beyond that, this is just a big laundry list of AAAA scrubs who have literally 0 chance of being anywhere near respectable.  They''re also moving to the AL West next year.  Enjoy.

Projection: 60-102, dead fucking last in the AL West NL Central.

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