Bob Elliott eats a bunch of mushrooms and hallucinates, calls it news.

I'll be completely honest, I had no idea what Bob Elliott looked like until I googled him 5 minutes ago, but I immediately thought of Carter Pewterschmidt, Lois Griffin's father from Family Guy when I saw him.  I'm pretty sure that Carter's character is based upon the likeness of Ted Turner, but even if he isn't it, doesn't really matter.  Carter's character on Family Guy is completely delusional, understanding approximately 1% of social norms within a society, since he's super rich and feels the need to just do anything he wants, regardless of the consequences, since he just uses his money to get out of any jam he may find himself in.

Bob Elliott not only looks like Carter, but also is a complete idiot who has his own little special way of viewing the world.  Case in point: this article.  The title of the piece is "Jays target closer Bell", which strongly, strongly implies that the Jays are actually looking in to acquiring him.  The second line of the piece is as follows:

“The Blue Jays have the money, their best option is Heath Bell,” said one evaluator familiar with the closing landscape.

So basically, he's saying that since it's someone's opinion that the Jays should go after Bell, despite the fact that AA is a smart guy and isn't going to pay a closer $10MM for 60 innings a season, this all translates to the Jays actively pursuing Bell.  I'm not saying this won't happen, but actively mongering rumors like that isn't really impressive journalism, at least in my books.  Neither is coming up with bullshit trade scenarios, such as:

The New York Yankees are interested in right-hander Kyle Drabek, who made 14 starts in the Jays rotation and the next 15 at triple-A Las Vegas

or

The Kansas City Royals will start with Lorenzo Cain in centre, but with concerns about whether the 25-year-old (42 career starts) will hit has the Royals looking at Colby Rasmus of the Jays.

First, with the Drabek thing.  Uhh, why??  The Yankees just wouldn't do this.  They have plenty of young starting that they could just plug in to their rotation now.  Drabek probably isn't available, but even if he were, the cost would be really high for such a risky player who is coming off a dogshit season last year, and couldn't find the strikezone to save his life.  Dellin Betances or Manny Banuelos would be equally solid options that wouldn't cost a bunch of good prospects.

As for the Rasmus thing, again, why?  Does anyone really think that the Jays are going to trade Rasmus, after slobbering all over themselves waiting for him to become available for the last 2 years?  I mean, I really think AA is ruthless and would certainly give up Rasmus if the right trade came along, but the right trade, when it comes to KC, includes a first baseman, which is Billy Butler or Eric Hosmer, neither or which will be available in a trade for several years, or Lorenzo Cain himself.  If KC doesn't think Cain will hit, why would AA trade Rasmus for him? There, rumor quashed.

Shut up Bob.

Stuff


The Royals signed Jonathan Broxton this morning, so the Jays are out of the running on that one.

The Cubs are apparently listening to offers for Matt Garza, who they just gave up the farm to acquire last season from Tampa Bay.  Garza is still under team control until 2013, so the return would be pretty hefty, especially in this market.  Moving Garza would probably signify a rebuild, but apparently the Cubs are still plenty interested in Prince Fielder and Albert Pujols.  The Jays didn't get much of a look last year, since the Rays didn't want to move Garza within the division.  Garza is kind of a douche, but this could be the front-end starter that the Jays are looking for.

As for the closer situation, the White Sox are actively shopping Matt Thornton.  The Sox signed him to a 2 year, $12MM extension (option for 2014) before the 2011 season, but have been trying to shed some payroll pretty desperately for the last 6 months or so.  He throws really hard and strikes out a ton of guys, but is 35, so there could be a red flag attached.

Jon Heyman of SI.com tells us something that we already knew, when he says that the Jays could look in to moving David Cooper.  Neat.

Rotographs expects Luis Valbuena, acquired over the weekend, to get a shot at the starting job at 2B for Toronto this season.  I don't see it, mainly because I don't think AA is done yet, but I guess he pretty much defines "stop-gap", and who knows, he might turn in to something.