Yescobar

Nice game Yunel.  Have a Zaunhead.

Now, look away as I say something controversial.  I'll not be rooting overly hard for the Jays in this coming series.  It's not that I don't have the Jays best interests in mind or anything, because I obviously want them to win all of their games, but at this point, let's just try and fuck around with the Orioles as much as possible, no?  Because I have no interest in seeing the Orioles in the playoffs.

I had some discussions with some intelligent reasonable not-retarded people who happen to be O's fans today, and it was seriously like sticking my face in to a ceiling fan.  I think we can all agree that the O's are, now that all those trades happened, the third best team in the AL East on a true-talent level.  Way worse than the Yanks, way worse than the Rays.  Beyond that, they had a worse team than the Red Sox until the team disassembled themselves thanks to being 8 games under their 3rd order win percentage (compared to the +12 for the Orioles).

Anyway, I can live with the fact that people make slightly outrageous statements when things are going well for their club for the first time in 17 years.  I understand, and I don't really think I'd act a whole lot differently if the Jays were winning 12 games more than what their expectation was.

Still, seeing the Rays in the playoffs sounds a whole lot better than seeing the Orioles to me, so I won't exactly be furious if the Jays can't handle the Rays this weekend.  That's just me though.  Anyway, it's mostly spite, but I'd love to see the Orioles finish a game short of a wildcard berth.

Stuff
Speaking of LOL O's, Zach Britton struck out 10 today, earning a 5-3 win.  He's kicked ass in his last three starts.  He was demoted this afternoon to make room for Randy Wolf.

JP Arencibia is set to hit off a tee.  He's expected back around September 10th or so.

Jason Frasor should be back with the team this weekend.

Shi Davidi tells us that the Jays will probably add a handful of pitchers, as well as Anthony Gose and Yan Gomes as September callups.

Lineups
Jays
Davis
Rasmus
EE
Lind
Escobar
Johnson
Sierra
Mathis
Hech

Villanueva

Rays
Jennings
Upton
Zobrist
Longoria
Joyce
Keppinger
Scott
Lobaton
Fuld

Moore

He Was Good!

Naturally, he didn't get any run support, save for an Adeiny Hechavarria homerun (wait, what?).

I'm heading to work pretty soon, so, again, we're going to half-ass this one.  As if this season couldn't get worse, Jose Bautista has opted for a season-ending surgery to repair the sheath covering a ligament in his hand.  He should be ready to go for next spring.  Having said that, Sam Fuld went ahead and got the same surgery at the end of last season, and then re-aggravated that injury earlier this year, missing another coupla months.  Fuld has apparently reached out to Bautista to have a quick chat about the injury, so that's pretty good.

If that wasn't bad enough, Marcus Stroman, a 2012 Jays draft pick, has been suspended for a PED case.  Liek everybody who has ever been suspended for PEDs, Stroman claims to have taken an over-the-counter nasal spray that unknowingly contained a banned stimulant.  I mean, there were pictures of him and his father hanging around on the internet, and they're both fucking massive.  Draw your own conclusions.

No Rasmus in the lineup today.  I assume that it's because he's a career 0-for-6 against CC with 5 K's for his career.  Mike Mccoy bats 2nd and plays in CF.

And there's no time for anything else because the game starts in like 4 minutes.  Good luck Happy.

More Pain

I mean, it's just Henderson Alvarez and Aaron Laffey, but still.

If you missed it, Alvarez took a comebacker to the right shin, and Aaron Laffey left with a shin contusion after suffering the same fate.  There's no word (yet) on how long they'll be out, if at all, but it's not like either guy is anything more than replacement level at this point in time anyway.

Colby Rasmus though, right?  The result of his 3-run HR last night?  A tidy .665 WPA.  He can have a Zaunhead.  On a rate basis, each Zaunhead is probably worth about .225 WPA (or vice versa, I guess), so we really should give him two, since that HR itself was worth .706 WPA, which, I`m guessing, is one of the bigger plays of the season league-wide.

As for other stuff, Brett Lawrie's rehab isn't going exactly smoothly.  I wouldn't mind seeing him just get shut down completely for the rest of the season, since there's not much need for him to play now, but that's just me.  John Lott wrote about that.

Beyond that, Roy Oswalt has cleared waivers, and Dice-K is on waivers.  The Dodgers are looking for pitching, so if you're bored today, MLBTR might be the place to be today.  Dice-K pitched pretty well last night, and has about $2MM on his contract this season before becoming a free agent.

Ricky Romero tonight, pitching in Yankee Stadium.  Hide your kids.

It's My Life

Well, this season has been a colossal disappointment, and last I read, it's supposed to rain in NY all night, giving us back-to-back rainouts.  May as well just get in on the ground floor of this new viral video about an Indian guy and all the cool things he sees and does, none of which includes pronouncing the letter V.

Stuff

The big news in Blue Jay land is that Buster Olney is still a bumbling idiot.  The cliffnote version: trade John Farrell to Boston for Daniel Bard.  I mean, it's a great idea, it just can't possibly ever happen, right?  Sure, we all would have said that the recent BOS-LAD trade that went down the other day couldn't possibly ever go down, so we can dream, I suppose.

Fangraphs/rotographs writes about Brandon Morrow.

Shi Davidi says that Adeiny Hechavarria has been named an all-star for the AAA PCL.

Jonah Keri writes about the Rays at Grantland.

Rasmus' cornrows are gone.  Already.

Lineups

Jays

Davis

Rasmus

Edwin

Lind

Escobar

Johnson

Torrealba

Sierra

Hechavarria

Alvarez

Yankees

Jeter

Swisher

Cano

Teixeira

Granderson

Chavez

Martin

Ibanez

Ichiro

Phelps

Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Well, Jose got hurt again last night.  I've pinpointed the exact time and location where the injury occurred, above.

I fell asleep passed out on the couch watching the recording of last night's game, right around the 8-2 mark, so I'm just kind of assuming the O's won this one and that their fanbase are freaking out about how fucking awesome the team is, or at least how much of a boss Matt Weiters is since the Jays can't stand fucking still for 40 seconds while someone bats.  Just steal, steal, steal, right?  Rajai Davis is just a flea, and Earl Weaver must be spinning in his grave (obligatory Earl Weaver video).

And that's about it. Go fuck yourselves.

Morrow-mas

I'm irrationally (?) excited for this.  And fuck, that's a creepy picture.  I think it's a book or some shit, but I can't really give a shit to look up and see what it is, I just remember hearing someone mention "The Legend of Morrow" something or other, so I plugged it in to google and there you are.

We're going to go ahead and ignore what Chris Davis did last night, (because why the fuck wouldn't we?) and just get right in to the stuff, because I just got home from work and don't really feel like doing a whole lot more than sitting on the couch with a bag of Cheetos and maybe taking a dump.  Yep, toilet humor. Deal with it.

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I thought David Cooper had been placed on the DL the other day.  Turns out, he hasn't been yet, but probably will be soon.  We don't fucking need that guy anyway.  No but really, injuries.

Adam Lind will play 6 innings tonight in a rehab.  We don't fucking need that guy anyway.  No but really, we don't.

Yunel is back tonight.  Think they had a baby.

Colby Rasmus is going to get a couple days off as a mental break, according to Gregor.

JPA claims to be throwing again.

Expect Morrow to be on a pitch count tonight.  Something in the 90's would be my guess.

Morrow Activated, Gose and Hech Demoted

Yeah.  So there it is.  Maybe this will help the whole record thing.

Those two weren't any good anyway.  We'll see them in September.

Hittered!

Nice of Justin Verlander to not no-hit the Jays.  Really appreciated that one.

Off to Baltimore, hopefully to assist in ending the charade that is the Orioles' 2012 season.  They got their shit pushed in by Texas the other night, and if there is any justice in the world, the same will happen this weekend against the Blue Yays.

I'm writing this from work, so I don't really have the time or bookmarks to go find the important stuff that you need to know about, nor will I be posting lineups or anything, but I'll let you know that I'm not working very hard today, since I've been reading about the potential Adrian Gonzalez blockbuster.  What Adrian Gonzalez blockbuster, you ask?  Check this shit out.  If you're too lazy, it's looking like the Dodgers are trying to acquire Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, Josh Beckett and cash from the Red Sox for prospects.  If this goes down, look for the Red Sox to be in on every major free agent this offseason.  I'm talking Hamilton, Greinke, and whoever else, as well as having a look at Matt Garza of the Cubs.

If you'd like to read something retarded, here you go.  John Farrell for Bobby Valentine?????!?!?!?

No Yunel tonight.  He should rejoin tomorrow.

Bautista will be set to go Friday. (Wait, that's now!)

Morrow will start Saturday, Laffey to the bullpen, at least for now.

Cooper has been DL'ed for back spasms.  Chad Beck was sent back to the minors, but I don't see any corresponding moves yet.

The Walka Flockas

All over the fucking planet.

Dirk Hayhurst had a whole lot to say about Ricky last night while he was Zauning with Jamie Campbell, and if you missed that, Dirk and Sam prattled on about it again today on Baseball Central, where Dirk stopped just short of saying that watching Ricky is fucking embarrassing or something like that.  You can listen here, but let me warn you: they call up Tabler to chime in at the 15-minute mark or so.

If you missed it, Romero walked 8 and struck out none.  He issued two bases loaded walks, for crying out loud.  It's a good job that Morrow is coming back, because Ricky needs one of those phantom arm fatigue things for a DL stint.

Obviously Romero's all-walk, no-strikeout strategy was a big part of the problem last night, but the defense wasn't really helping him out a whole lot.  Cooper dicked him around on a little squibber to first, and Rajai Davis seemed to boot around every other ball that came his way.

And now we turn to Aaron Laffey, who is uhhh...  worse?  It was nice when Laffey was pitching okay, but over the last month, he's had his ERA baloon by more than 2 runs.  This, of course, is something that shouldn't be that surprising, since he was outperforming his FIP and xFIP significantly up until the last 5 starts or so.

Oh yeah, and Lawrie is shut down for a week, and might not come back again this season.  So yeah.  You can tell why I haven't been writing every single day lately.

Stuff
Yunel Escobar has left the team after being placed on the paternity list.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that means that he's going to be a dad.  Chad Beck has been called up to take his roster spot.

Fartolo Colon has been suspended for failing a PED test.  Shocker.  At least the A's just got Brandon McCarthy and Brett Anderson back.

Fangraphs wrote something about Romero.  I didn't read it, because I have a decent idea of what the subject matter will be.  Be afraid.

Billy Hamilton stole his millionth base last night in AA, breaking Vince Coleman's 30 year old record.

Lineups
Jays
Davis LF
Rasmus CF
EE DH
Cooper 1B
Sierra RF
Torrealba C
Johnson 2B
McCoy SS
Hech 3B

Laffey P

Tylers
Jackson CF
Infante 2B
Cabrera 3B
Fielder 1B
Peralta SS
Young dh
Dirks LF
Baker RF
Avila C

Sanchez P

Nice Weekend

Yep, three day weekend.  Definitely no game on Sunday.  Certainly didn't play against the Rangers the other day, and definitely didn't give up 11 runs or whatever it was.  Just a nice, fancy Sunday and Monday off.  Zaunhead to Mike Mccoy for his days off.  Neat little phantom HR to pad the stats bud.  Pretty good for a CF/LF/2B/SS/3B/backup catcher.

Anyway, we best be getting ready for them scumbag Tigers.  And more importantly, it seems as though the Great Depression is just about over, as Brett Lawrie, Jose Bautista, and Brandon Morrow have all dicked around in the minors doing rehab stints, and should all be back before the end of the week.  Related, Lind, Lawrie and Bautista are all in the lineup for the GCL Jays.

Morrow threw 81 pitches in his start, allowing 2 runs over 4.2 innings, walking 2 and striking out 4.  Could be better, but he should be stretched all the way out after a start or two.  He'll probably start this coming weekend at some point.  Bautista had his first rehab start yesterday, going 0-for-3 with a walk.  Lawrie was also 0-for-3, playing in his second straight day, and should be good to go early this week.  The baseball gods are taking it easy on the feelings folks.

Yan Gomes was sent back to AAA the other day to make room for Yorvit Torrealba's veteran presence.

John Lott says that it's raining in Detroit at the moment, but that it should stop within the next hour or so.

Lineups
Jays
Davis LF
Rasmus CF
Encarnacion DH
Cooper 1B
Escobar SS
Johnson 2B
Vizquel 3B
Mathis C
Gose RF

Romero P

GREEEEEEEAR
Jackson CF
Infante 2B
Cabrera 3B
Fielder 1B
Peralta SS
Young DH
Baker RF
Dirks LF
Laird C

Scherzer P

ESD Exclusive! Yunel Escobar Watching Ceremonial First Pitch

Dat ass.

Congrats to JA Happ for getting his first Zaunhead for yesterday's performance.

Stuff
Shi Davidi says that Jose Bautista and Brett Lawrie are set to begin their rehab assignments.

The Jays claimed reliever Juan Abreu off waivers the other day, and have outrighted him to the minors.

CharlieV today. Legit shot at two in a row.  Roy Oswalt goes for Texas, so this could be a bloodbath.

Lineups
Jays
Davis
Rasmus
Edwin
Cooper
Escobar
Johnson
Mathis
Gose
Hech

Villanueva

Rangers
Kinsler
Young
Hamilton
Beltre
Cruz
Murphy
Moreland
Gentry
Martinez

Oswalt

Ranger Danger

I remember the Power Rangers being way, way cooler.  And wasn't there a black one?

Anyway, ummm... the Jays fucking suck right now, and the Rangers remain quite good, so this series is probably going to end up being more of the same shit that is causing me to have little-to-no motivation to write anything.  Because why the fuck? Right?

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Ryan Dempster has been scratched from his start tomorrow for personal reasons.  Roy Oswalt will take his place.  That's the good news.  The Rangers have also called up Leonys Martin to take Dempster's place on the roster, since he (Dempster) was placed on the restricted list.

The bad news is that the Jays don't really have any pitching, and the combo of Josh Hamilton and Nelson Cruz are fucking smashing the ball lately.

Jose Bautista, Brett Lawrie and Brandon Morrow are all approaching comeback status.  Bau is swinging and should see some rehab games over the next week or so.  They're hoping he'll be back in 10 days or so, which points to next Monday-ish.  Lawrie should be back by Tuesday.  Morrow will make one more rehab start and should be good to go.  He's simply stretching out his arm at the moment.

From the above link, JP Arencibia had his hard cast removed, but still has a soft cast on his arm.  And it's not like anyone cares, but Adam Lind has suffered a setback with his back.  Phew.

Lineups
Jays
Davis
Johnson
Edwin
Cooper
Escobar
Sierra
Vizquel
Mathis
Gose

Happ

Rangers
Kinsler
Andrus
Hamilton
Beltre
Young
Murphy
Soto
Gentry
Olt

DARVISH!

Ricky

Remember this?

Go do it bud.  Not that this is really a slump or anything.  Especially with no fucking players on the team.

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Uhh, King Felix.  Perfect game.  Look it up.  My stream froze with 2 balls., 2 strikes and 2 outs in the 9th.  No big deal, you fuckers.

Fangraphs looks at the Jeff Mathis extension.

MLBTR has their reverse standings up.  Gettin' ugly boys.  These are, of course, for protected 1st round picks, just in case the Jays happen to sign a Type-A (i.e. someone who gets and rejects a $13MM qualifying offer) free agent this coming offseason.

MLBTR also lets us know that Melky Cabrera is a no-good rotten dirty cheater fuck, and that recently DFA'ed Scott Richmond was outrighted to the minors again by the Jays.

Other than that, we've got Rasmus back in the lineup as a DH, with Anfernee Gose playing CF again.  Good luck boys, put the kids to bed, I'm comin' back loaded.

Lineups
Blue Jays
Davis LF
Rasmus DH
Edwin LF
Cooper 1B
Escobar SS
Johnson 2B
Vizquel 3B
Mathis C
Gose CF

Romero P

White Sox
De Aza CF
Youkilis 3B
Dunn 1B
Rios RF
Pierzynski C
Ramirez SS
Viciedo DH
Wise LF
Hudson 2B

Floyd P

Post First-Pitch Stuff

Looks like the Jays extended catcher/reliever Jeff Mathis.  Two years, $3MM with a club option worth another $1.5MM.  To me, this sounds like they want TDA to spend at least some time in the minors next year, given his early end to this season.  It's not like having too much catching depth is a problem, but clearly, come say, halfway through next season, assuming nothing changes, there are going to be three catchers battling for two spots.  Mathis getting an extension seems to cement him in for the backup role, so uhhh... keep a bag packed JP.

As for the contract itself, I meh.  Mathis has been worth about half a win to this point in the season, making $1.5MM, which certainly does give the Jays some surplus value (0.5 WAR is worth about $2.5MM).  He would have been a free agent after this season.  I dunno, seems like it's about fair, since his offensive numbers were always getting kind of dicked around under Mike Scioscia, though entering this season he was the worst offensive player in the history of the MLB, so who knows what the real Mathis is anyway?  And it's not like he's for sure for sure still going to be around in 3 years time, so fucking relax already, will you?

Lol Red Sox, and then another Lol Red Sox for good measure.

And from last night: if you didn't already hate Hawk Harrelson, you probably will after you see him ask Adam Dunn's dead center, moonshot, blastoff, fuck-clobbering of a homerun ball to "stretch".

So You're Saying There's a Chance

The Blue Jays are on the verge of acquiring Yorvit Torrealba, according to some guy from some newspaper.  Maybe all is not lost after all.

But seriously, ole Yorvy-poo is just your generic backup catcher who was DFA'ed recently, and won't do anything offensively, so this isn't really news.  Of course, JPA and TDA are both on the shelf, and it's kind of hard to justify getting Yan Gomes AB's when he's the only serviceable backup option behind the plate.

The addition of Torrealba will probably allow the Jays to stop giving Mike Mccoy and Omar Vizquel AB's while Brett Lawrie is still hurt, and should allow them to option Adeiny Hechavarria back to AAA when Lawrie returns.

I'm sure he'll be batting cleanup in no time.

In other news, the complete shortage of Zaunheads from the last two weeks or so make it entirely reasonable to give out 4 for last night's game.  Steve Delabar struck out like 80 people in 20 minutes, so he can have one; CharlieV pitched like the ace of the team that he is, so he can have one, Edwin Encarnacion had a nice little night, getting hits in some high leverage spots, so he gets one, and Moises Sierra went 2-for-3 with a walk and a tater, so he can have one.  All the Zaunheads!

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Colby Rasmus was in the original lineup, but has been scratched, still with the groins.  Mike Mccoy will start in CF in his place, says Shi Davidi.  As result, I can't find a correct fucking lineup card (i.e. one that doesn't have Rasmus in it) so fuck it.

Davidi also tells us that Jose Bautista's dry swinging session went well.

If you missed it last night, Steve Delabar became the 41st or so person to record 4 strikeouts in an inning, and the first in MLB history to do so in extra innings.  Neat stuff there.  Also the first Blue Jay to do it.

Hey Guys!

Chicago now.  Fuck them.

Stuff
Lawrie should begin a rehab assignment at some point this week, according to Shi Davidi.

Jose Bautista is set to begin taking some swangs again today or tonight or something.

Wilner says on twitter that Brandon Morrow will do two more rehab starts and then make his return.

And finally, this is still what our lineup looks like.  At least we have staff ace Charlie going.

Lineups
Blue Yays

Davis LF
Johnson 2B
Encarnacion DH
Cooper 1B
Escobar SS
Sierrra RF
Vizquel 3B
Mathis C
Gose CF

CharlieV P

White Sox

De Aza CF
Youkilis 3B
Dunn 1B
Rios RF
Pierzynski DH
Ramirez SS
Viciedo DH
Flowers C
Beckham 2B

Peavy P

This Blog Fucking Rules, Right?

Hey, so lots of updates lately, huh?  Some fucking vacation I've been rocking.  Not like I owe it to any of you cunts to make this a consistent everyday operation or anything.  But really, between a wedding, my brother and nephew being home from across the country, drinking my face off, and a good old fashioned work week, I've been on the busy side for the last 10 days or so.  Combine that with the Olympics hogging all the TV, causing the Jays to play a bunch of day-games that aren't conducive to everyday cable television, it's been tough to keep an eye on anything better than a boxscore or the Jays in 30.

With all of that considered, we've got some work to do.  Pretty much my feelings, save for yesterday's 10-run effort.

So that's what we've got going for us at the moment.  Well in to last place territory, pretty much everybody is hurt at the moment, and Ricky Romero took about 70% of the season to start pitching like Ricky Romero, based on what I've read other people say.  Can't all be bad though right?

This is typically where I would write the good news, but there ain't none.

I'm Alive

But I'm going to keep drinking and not doing shit all around here until at least this evening.  And really, all you've missed is me bitching about how fucking terrible the team is now that it's the Canada 51's featuring Kelly Johnson, so whatever.  I'm sure you've done enough of that yourselves.

In other news, I just found out that links don't open in new tabs.  This is presumably due to the change in the Blogger template, but who the fuck really knows?  Anyway, if someone could tell me how to automatically make links open in a new tab, I'd be grateful.

Hutch and McGowan are going in for Tommy John and exploratory shoulder nerve surgery (or something like that), and, naturally, are out for the season.  That McG contract sure is a bargain.

That's It...

Goin' drinkin'.  Probably see you fuckers Monday.

Working Man

Too fucking busy lately, now that I'm some fucking working stiff and not some lazy-ass kid sitting on the couch all day everyday.  As result, I've got the energy to stay awake until about the 6th inning and that's about it.  So yeah, last two nights, I haven't fucking bothered to stay awake to see the Snider trade and the beginning of the Steve Delabar era, respectively.  We'll go with Lawrie for last night, and uhhh... I dunno, Snider for Monday?

Have you guys seen this fucking lineup?  Ugh. This is depressing.  Wish we had a power lefty bat with loads of potential.  At least we have our ace going tonight.

Stuff
Bautista is eligible to come off the DL today, but that's not going to happen.  His wrist just isn't quote feeling up to it, I guess.

More Bautista: "I wouldn’t put myself in position to either hurt myself worse or not help the team win games."
— Shi Davidi (@ShiDavidi) August 1, 2012

Elsewhere, Farrell is thinking about a 6-man rotation, or throwing Happ in there to replace someone.  Woteva.

Lineups
Jays
Lawrie 3B
Rasmus CF
Edwin DH
Johnson 2B
Escobar SS
Cooper 1B
Davis LF
Mathis C
Sierra RF

CharlieV P

Mariners
Ackley 2B
Saunders CF
Montero DH
Jaso C
Seager 3B
Wells RF
Carp 1B
Thames LF
Ryan SS

Beavan P