Monday 9 December 2013
Doc, My Heart Hurts
My heart skipped a beat this afternoon when I got the notification on my phone. I had a couple notifications when I checked it as I was going for lunch at work. The first two were from the Simpsons' Tapped out game, the next from facebook or twitter or something stupid. The next was from The Score's mobile app, and I quickly saw the words "Blue Jays" and "Roy Halladay", and for just an instant, I wrote my own headline, since those were the only words the I had happened to process to that point. I had immediately assumed that the Jays had signed Halladay for pitching related purposes. I can only assume that I saw/thought that because that's what my hearts has truly been yearning for for three years now.
As I finished reading the headline, reality set in, and it set in hard. He wasn't just an awesome pitcher. He was our awesome pitcher, and in a way, he still is. In a more literal and actual way, he isn't, I guess, but the fact that he went ahead and insisted upon retiring a Blue Jay just kind of gives me the satisfaction of knowing that he loves us back, as much as we all loved him when he was our one bright spot in a smattering of dull ones. Anyway, kinda ruined my day.
I would be totally cool with retiring the #32 right now, especially after retiring a Blue Jay, and, in fact, remember being sort of furious with both Aaron Laffey and Esmil Rogers at wearing that particular jersey these past few years.
I remember thanking Roy via ovation, along with 47,000 other people a few years ago at the Dome when Philadelphia stopped by for the Canada Day Weekend series, and I'm really glad to have finally seen him pitch live and in the flesh. It was some pretty surreal stuff. It was also quite warm that day.
I assume he doesn't read this, because not very many people do and why the fuck would he be one of them? But on the off-chance he decides to do a vanity-check and scour Jays' blogs, I'd just like to go ahead and thank him one more time for everything. Most of my baseball and Jays' related memories aren't anything overly special-- being a big baseball fan who watches multiple hundred games a summer will kind of force the days and games to melt together. I honestly can't say that I remember a lot of individual games (though I definitely do remember a lot of them-- 10-inning shutout, the leg-break, the near no-hitter against Detroit in game 162 in 1998, etc.), but I can definitely remember sitting down with my grandfather (consult the picture in the "About Me" section on the right) and just talking about how unwatchable 4 of every 5 Jays games are, but how can't miss that Halladay start always happens to be.
The Blue Jays, and baseball in general, has really shaped who I am as a person. So with Roy Halladay being arguably the greatest Blue Jay ever, and not at all arguably the greatest Blue Jay of my generation, Roy Halladay has supposedly been an integral of my upbringing. Sounds weird when I say it like that, but meh.