Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Jays Closer Brian Tallet DFA'ed

What is this, like 15 straight Brian Tallet posts?  Fuck man.

Anyway, Carlos Villanueva has been, or will so be, activated and sent to the bullpen.  Tallet blew a save last night in pretty hilarious fashion, and has been given the boot.  Thank fuck.  My girlfriend was asleep on the couch last night during the game, and I was like |                              | this close to punching her square in the box when I saw Tallet warming up.

My favorite part about this DFA is the timing.  Rosters expand less than 8 hours from now, but instead, the Jays read my blog and realized "wait a second... Brian Tallet is the namesake of the dog poop stench meter?  What else do we not know about this guy?"  So they did some research and this conversation ensued:

AA: Hey Ben, have a seat.
BT: I knew about seats before they were cool.  It's Brian, by the way.
AA: That's great, shut up though.  We're going to DFA you.  You're fucking terrible and the only people that like you are opposing hitters.
BT: But rosters expand tomorrow.
AA: Yeah, and Jojo Reyes is pitching for Baltimore tonight, which means that we might score a fucking thousand runs tonight.
BT: So you won't even have to use me, keep me around.
AA:  I know we won't have to use you.  We weren't planning on it either.  That's why we're DFA'ing you now.  It's a testament to just how fucking embarrassing you are to this organization, pitching, baseball, and the misnomer that 'if you're a pitcher and you're left handed, you can find work.'  Your career is over.
BT: Is this about last night?
AA: Partially.  It's also partially because nobody can stand to look at your dumb fucking face.
BT: But where will I go?
AA: Shut up.

But seriously, this DFA opens a spot on the 40-man roster for someone in the minors to be a September call-up.  I have no idea who they plan on using it for, if they even plan on filling it now or at all this season (Adam Loewen?).  Honestly, this could have just been a move to re-inforce exactly what that real and totally serious conversation above was: Brian Tallet is terrible and shall never be mentioned on this blog again.

MLBTR is doing a live chat as I write this, and there's been like 8 Jays questions through the first half an hour.  Among the answers so far, Ben thinks that Jonathan Broxton is a candidate to close for Toronto next year (scary), that the Jays are contenders for CJ Wilson (pricey) and Yu Darvish (me gusta), and that Edwin Encarnacion's option will be picked up, even if he's "all bat" (No shit).

They also mention stuff about Aaron Hill probably resigning in Arizona, Alex Rios being untradeable, and AJ Burnett not being cut, even if the Yankees land CJ Wilson or Yu Darvish.  Along those lines, Ben doesn't really think that the Yankees can re-sign CC and get CJ Wilson to sign, which does eliminate one contender for the Jays if they're interested in either.

Expect Jon Rauch to be activated tomorrow, according to Richard Griffin.

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