Saturday, 23 July 2011

Jojo Reyes gets it done again

It might just be the hangover talking, but I may seem cranky with the upcoming post.

We've all gone on tangents about how fucking useless this guy Jojo is, and how he should be demoted/cut/burnt at the stake, so I'm not going to bother with that one (I actually am going to bother with that one).  And the way he's pitched the last 6 weeks or so, I'm honestly not entirely scared of trying to send him through waivers, because, save from 3 or 4 starts about a month in to the season, he's been so fucking awful that I'd be kind of half surprised if anyone snatched him up.  And you know what?  If someone does decide to take a chance and snatch him up, whoopty fuck, good luck you terrible piece of shit.  I'll be glad that I don't have to see your stupid fucking face with your little goatee thing and your pock-marked pimply fucking skin throwing BP and getting lit up like a goddamned 14 year old peewee reliever fuckup.  Remember that thing where he hadn't won a game in like 2 years or something?  Maybe if he didn't have an ERA over fucking 5 nobody would have felt bad.  It's fucking magic that he's won any games, let alone the 5 he has.

All this is going on, and Luis Perez is hanging out in AAA with Jesse Litsch.  Frankly, Litsch isn't a whole lot better, but at least we're used to him.  Ugh.  It's times like this that I curse for being so detailed, allowing me to count all the different ways that these two fuckers suck.  If it weren't so much work (read: typing and clicking), I'd give everybody on the fucking roster a Zaunhead except for those two.  Jesse didn't even do anything to make me this angry either.  LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME JOJO.  FUCK.

I really do love the Bluejays though.

In other news, Nelson Cruz is a pretty good hitter, and is criminally underrated, to the tune of Andrew Mccutchen and previous seasons Shin-soo Choo.  He's been in a little slump, but that's nothing that Jojo Reyes can't take care of.  It's not like Texas isn't good enough without Nelly getting meatballs.

At least Carlos Skillanueva throws tonight.  Dude's solid.

Update- It turns out, that in all that cursing and anger, I forgot to mention 2 pretty important things that I was going to say originally, before I started thinking about how fucking terrible Jojo Reyes is.

(1) Apparently today is the day where Roberto Alomar and Pat Gillick are inducted to the HOF.  There should be plenty of twitter musings for that one, and your best sources, from a Jays perspective, will likely be Shi Davidi (@shidavidi) or John Lott (@lottonbaseball), or maybe Richard Griffin (@Rgriffinstar), who will copy everything Shi writes from one seat over.*

(2) Brett Lawrie is back and killing it on a daily basis in AAA Las Vegas.  He's got 8 hits in his last 3 games, and that includes a dinger in there somewhere.  If Edwin Encarnacion weren't swinging such a decent bat lately, pushing him halfway close to Type-B status and some kind of value, I'd maybe claim that old Bretty boy might be close to a callup in the next couple of days.  Alex Anthopoulos has a little policy about having highly touted prospects debut on the road, which I guess makes sense if we're going to bring stuff like nerves in to the situation.  If that is going to happen, then we're maybe looking at August 2nd-ish, barring some kind of injury and emergency scenario.  After the current Texas series, the Jays return home for 3 against Baltimore, and then 3 more against Texas, before hitting the road to Tampa, and then Baltimore.

Perhaps if Edwin turns up the suck again, it will be easier to figure something out in terms of rosterbation.  Either way, I don't think they're going to sacrifice Lawrie's AB's for anybody else, so Eric Thames could end up back in AAA if Edwin remains not awful.  They're going to want his bat in the lineup everyday, either at 3B or DH.  By my calculations, Jose Bautista is the current 3B, and if Edwin remains passable, he is the DH of the present.  To get Lawrie in the lineup and keep EE, it would appear that Jose has to go back to RF, placing either EE or Lawrie at third.  Thames could obviously just move to LF, forcing the Corey Patterson/Rajai Davis show to be relegated elsewhere.

Wait a second.... Corey Patterson gets cut, Davis is your 4th OF, Lawrie and EE make up some weird 3B/DH hybrid, Jose back to RF, Snider is your everyday CF, trade for Kelly Johnson and ban Aaron Hill, call up Zach Stewart and Kyle Drabek and throw Jojo in a woodchipper!  Win 48 of the remaining 62 games, then win your next 16 straight; World Series!

*- Not necessarily factual.

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